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Values

There was a middle-aged woman who had two daughers, one in college and one in high school. She confided how she absolutely hated one of her daughters and how she hated herself for feeling that way. "The younger one is great, we get along fine and do things together, but I cannot stand the elder one. I raised both of them in the same loving manner and gave them everything they needed, so I have no idea what went wrong!"

 

The woman was a stay-at-home mom who always felt her goal in life was to take care of her family. She graduated from a local community college but never had any interest in a career. Her husband was a doctor and earned a decent income, so there was no financial reason for her to work.

 

The latest incident involving her elder daughter was at a family gathering. A couple of relatives asked the woman's opinion on an issue. Before she could answer, the elder daughter jumped in and said, "Don't ask HER! She doesn't have a clue about life!" They all laughed it off, but mom did not find it funny.

 

The distraught mom explained that the elder daughter inherited brains and ambition from her father, and that the younger daughter inherited her artistic and laid back attitude. The elder daughter was accepted at a highly-regarded University and planned on becoming a surgeon. The younger had no career goals and was more into cooking, making jewelry, and decorating -- the same things that mom liked to do. 

 

Mom realized that the problem stemmed from her elder daughter seeing her as inferior because she never pursued a higher education or career. The daugher disagreed with everything mom said just for the sake of disagreeing, and often added at the end, "I am not at all like you."  Nowadays the daughter insists she knows better than mom because "I was accepted at XXXX university, while you only went to that loser community college."

 

There is a lesson in this for all. We have created and support a society in which career has become more important than family values, and we look down upon those who place more importance on such values. The desire for fame and fortune has made some of us blind to the truly important things in life, and we do not care whom we step on or hurt to reach our goals. This elder daughter has simply chosen to live according to society's value system. Can we really blame her?

 

Hopefully she will see the light one day and realize all the pain she caused her mother whose only goal was to make her family happy. Then again, perhaps she may not. As for the rest of us, we all face the same choice in our own personal way. When making that choice, it is important to remember that the most often walked path is not necessarily the best one. 

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